Exercise

I think if I counted all the push-ups that I did from this year to after A divs, it would probably add up to about 100,000.
No this is not a joke.
I'm going to get scarily muscular arms, fear me.

"Do you know how sometimes - when you are riding your bike and you start skidding across sand, or when you miss a step and start tumbling down the stairs - you have those long, long seconds to know that you are going to be hurt, and badly?"
I knew that tonight was going to be different once I asked about her, but I couldnt help it, I just couldnt let it go.

I can't wait to leave for Australia, I feel trapped and aimless in Singapore. I just want to be free, you know.

My love, look at how close we are instead of how far.

I've finally found the friends that I've always dreamt of having.
I should tell you all the wonderful things they have done.
But instead I will keep it close to my heart.
I need not boast about those friends I have.
I just hope that everyone will someday find friends like these.

J, K, R

You do not know how glad I am to have got you all.

We might as well be strangers

I cannot help but not be myself when I am around you and her.
We are so different alone and in a crowd.
Which is the real us then?
I cannot and will not tell you to forget her.
Because the way you look at her is exactly the way I look at you.
&& if someone were to tell me to forget you, I would tell them, not a chance.

As muuch as I hate to admit, you both actually do look good together.

Into the future.

I was at the eleventh floor today.

Dinner was Jap, how I enjoyed making my own sushi.

Laughter and drinks flowed freely.

The adults were comfortable around their companions.

I cannot help but think that they are everything I want to be when I grow up.

Drawn

Is it okay that I gravitate towards you when you are near?
Is it okay that my insides glow when you are next to me?
Is it okay that I cannot help but need you?
Is it okay that you know how I feel?

But most of all, is it okay to carry on this way even though I know we can never have a future?

And just maybe.

And maybe I'll sleep at the station because there's nothing to go home to but an empty fridge and some stale mayonnaise.

And maybe I'll make friends with the guys sleeping under cardboard boxes and newspapers and we'll discuss what it means to love and to live.

And maybe I'll wander the city, one lost particle in a dust storm of Mondays, late nights and reports due yesterday.

And maybe I'll get on a plane or a ship and get lost in places I've never been lost in before.

And maybe I'll keep my phone on me in case you call.

And tell me there's something to come home to.

Greener pastures

A tumblr account for me and my pals.
www.celardor.tumblr.com

Galaxy Girl

Me: K, the user is my email, melissagxy@live.com

Jenna: Oh, your melissa galaxy one ah?

Me: Huh? What galaxy??

Jenna: The gxy la?

Me: OMG!!! hahahaahaha no, thats my chinese name.

Jenna, the things you say, they crack me up.
From now, please call me galaxy girl.

Change, for the better

Take care of yourself. If you are sick, visit a doctor. If you are sad, visit a shrink or talk to a friend. If you are unhappy in love, break up. If you are fed up with how you look, buy a new shirt or stop eating cheese. If you have a problem, try to fix it. Many problems are knotty and need a lot of talking through, or time to resolve, but after a few months of all complaining and no fixing, those around you will begin to wonder if you don’t enjoy the problems for the attention they bring you. Venting is fine; inertia coupled with pouting is not. Bored? Read a magazine. Mad at someone? Say so — to them. Change is hard; that’s too bad. Effort counts. Make one.

I thought you could be my one shot at happiness.

My dad said something that aptly described it all

," it cant be true if it is really too good to be true."

That's why I never take my chances and never let myself be too happy

Guess I'm right again this time.

Because this way, I wont be so badly hurt.

I'm just a disaster waiting to happen, dont get too near.

Someday, I would like to make you say,
"You make me want to love again"

The night we met, my mouth said, "nice to meet you."
My heart said, "Oh, I've found you."

"If i give my heart to you,

I must be sure right from the very start

That you would love me more than her"

7th november, I'm glad I finally got it off my chest.
And that song, it really does describe us perfectly doesnt it.
I do not know what is going to happen now.
But, I'm afraid too.

The most demoralizing one word syllable, "No"

-How i met your mother.

I do not know how this game is played.

Being the chaser-beat about the bush.

I'm getting wrapped up in you.

Too much, too much for my own good.

2B!

"2B" they called her.

"Why", you asked.

"Because she wasn't allowed to write in pen, for her handwriting was too atrocious"

“ I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it.
— Keri Russell (The Waitress)

Lists

I love her style!

I love his floppy hair-ness!

Ilovelists: http://listography.com/MGXY

Matt McEeeewen says:
yeah i think the sun damn momma hot

MELSΔ! says:
lollllll

.

.

.

Matt McEeeewen says:
check this song out
sooo lovely
nice i mean
i think fat people are prosperous
like really fat people
i like hugging fat people LOL

Damn kid, I have no clue what goes on in your mind.

PW

Pw should not exist. I spent damn long on this.

I could have been doing other things, like:

1. Playing Pokemon Emerald Version

2. Jiggling my fats, by playing WI

3. Studying. ha, studying.

Of thrills

Jenna: He so looks like the type that is hardcore into porn
Me: He so does not look like the type that watches porn.

We said it at the exact same time. Which was really hilarious.
You should have been there.

I didn't think that Singapore had such awesome people.

Scandalous

I get so fustrated with my team sometimes.
I don't mean to, I can't help myself.
And V, you DSA-ed too, I wished you would stop fooling around.
I can't kid myself anymore, I'm afraid for next year.
I'm afraid of what A divs would bring, its not unfounded worry I know.

"With great power comes great responsibility", so much truth in so little words.

On another note, we're all drawn to scandals.
Like flies to honey.

Her English

MELSΔ! says:
hahahahaah!!/
but power sia, can you imagine on msn we talk like that!! haaha.

Kelz says:
yeah lorrr her english chim bodoh
hahaha

MELSΔ! says:
HAHAHAHA !
i prefer your englishah!

Kelz says:
HAHAHA our english nicer to talk LOR

And they asked how we got so close in such a short time

525,600 minutes

525,600 minutes, 525,600 moments so dear, 525,600 minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets,

In midnights, in cups of coffee.

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

movie

Rent:

M: You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends. But it was us baby, we were the lucky ones.

(500) days of summer:

T: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a builing when you can make something that last forever, like a greeting card.

Deepavali holiday went well, especially when you get to wear the heart shaped tights you have been eyeing since forever.

Soul power

Me: I need a lover with soul power.
Andy: I got soul power know, and I'm just saying.
.
.
.
Me: I only accept pink rangers
Andy: K i'll be pink ranger.

cuz he's an awesome kid who cracks me up. hahaha

I: I guess illustration isnt as fun for me as it used to be.
R: Youre too young to talk like that
I: I'm over forty and I can talk however I please
R: Fair enough, youre too beautiful to talk like that.

The post birthday world, thanks A.

It was amazing, awesome. "Wicker Park" is the movie to watch.
It felt like I was in the movie, rooting for the real Lisa.
As Of Montreal would sing, "So sentimental...".

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find youTell you I need you

Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets

And ask me your questions

Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles

Coming up tails

Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing

At numbers and figures

Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science

Science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me

Come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles

Chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

Oh, it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8Sm7GbIb88

I am too lazy to upload.

Friends

When my friends get drunk they:
1. talk to ants
2. eat(try) their phones
3. slap people

I kinda love them even more for that.
Dont judge me.

I love it when the play awesome songs in shops.
It makes shopping better, way better.

"I'm a high school lover, and you're my favorite flavor
Love is all, all my soul
You're my playground love
Yet my hands are shaking I feel my body reeling
Time's no matter, I'm on fire
On the playground love
You're the piece of gold
That flashes on my soul
Extra time, on the ground
You're my playground love
Anytime, anywhere, You're my playground love."

&& how do I compete with a girl like her.
She sounds like everything you hoped for.

I like you
Thats my secret

No hearts, no pretty drawings
No cryptic messages, no poetry

I like you

Return.

I'm back!
I'm surprised by myself, for having sustained this blog for so long.
I'm usually quite fickle, hence the surprise.

Agenda on the list for this week:
(We live a week at a time)
1. survive after receiving results
2. Bake(!!!) I BORROWED A MUFFIN BIBLE
3. Do something with hair
4. Exercise everyday
5. Finish editing photos, i swear photog is a pain in the ass
6. SHOES, SHOES, DID SOMEONE SAY SHOES!
7. Sleepover

We had a relationship talk today, I've finally learnt, its about the heart, not really about the looks. Cuz I kinda think I'm falling for you.

I will strike out each and everyone after promos.
Movies;
1. 500 days of summer
2. Away from her
3. Bright Star
4. My sister's keeper
5. Time traveller's wife
6. Everything is illuminated
7. Juno (dont laugh i havent watched it fully yet)
8. Burn after reading
9. Away we go
10. The Wackness
11. The Atonement
12. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
13. The Ugly truth

Books;
1. The bear came over the mountain
2. Everything is illuminated
3. The Great Gatsby
4. A Million Little Pieces

"I want to want someone so bad that the mere thought of them fills my tummy with butterflies and different coloured confetti."

And today i type with cold fingers and a heavy heart.

I think I've finally found friends I can keep.

(you guys know who you are)

I'm tired of making friends, losing them and not feeling a thing.

It's no fun being numb, none at all.

“ You’re not friends. You’ll never be friends. You’ll be in love till it kills you both. You’ll fight and you’ll shag and you’ll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be friends. Love isn’t brains, children, it’s blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.

everything is illuminated

The dream of angels dreaming of men:

"Angels were sleepwalking up and down the rungs of a ladder, their eyes closed, their breath heavy and dull, their wings hanging limp at the sides. I bumped into an old angel as I passsed him, waking and startling him. He looked like my grandfather did before he passed away last year, when he would pray each night to die in his sleep. Oh, the angel said, I was just dreaming of you"

“ One day you fall for this boy. And he touches you with his fingers. And he burns holes in your skin with his mouth. And it hurts when you look at him. And it hurts when you don’t. And it feels like someone’s cut you open with a jagged piece of glass.

"Love is when it hurts when he is not with you. And you hate that feeling. You hate it more than you love him"

“ One day you fall for this boy. And he touches you with his fingers. And he burns holes in your skin with his mouth. And it hurts when you look at him. And it hurts when you don’t. And it feels like someone’s cut you open with a jagged piece of glass.

"Love is when it hurts when he is not with you. And you hate that feeling. You hate it more than you love him"

We all need some anberlin lovin' once in awhile!

dreams.

The people surrounding me.

They have big aspirations.

Intimidated I feel.

But for now, I want to be a haiku generator.

1. You came, far too fast

Choking back on untold lies

Regret taints the air

2. Light rays upon face

Watches him sparkle- I fade

Too, too enarmoured

3. Dig deep, opposite

In out in out, mechanical

Bones they poke, they steal.

Really, I dont.

“ People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily- that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve… I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my friends. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and coffee.I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either. I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong. Love looks good on me.

pinhole photography

We did pinhole photography that day.

We made our own cameras.

I am v. proud of us.

Arent you?

We watched ONCE that day.

We fell asleep.

Arent you proud of us?

I screwed SPA today.

Arent I proud.

No, not really.

Superhero Lover

“Gretchen: Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? It’s like some sort of superhero or something.Donnie: What makes you think I’m not?”
—
Donnie Darko

dont fall in love with a squirrel

Everyone dreams.

I dreamt of you last night.

But I woke up with a start.

I couldn't picture your face anymore.

im growing up.

"Before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times.
Once you must fall in love with you best friend.
Ruining that friendship forever.
This will teach you who your true friends are,
and the fine line between friendships and more."

"Once you must fall in love with someone who you believe is perfect
You will learn that no one is perfect
and you should never be treated with anything less than you deserve."

"And once you must fall in love with someone exactly like you
This will teach you about who you are and who you want to be"

"And when you're through with all that,
you'll realise that the people who care about you the most are the ones you hurt
and the ones that hurt you are the ones you needed the most"

"But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept
and it is not something that can be defined
it is different to each person that experiences it
And you will learn to respect each and everyone on this earth
Knowing that everyone only just wants to be loved."

I LUV YOU R, CHEER UP!

What reminds me of him they ask.

Honestly, what doesnt?

Regret.

Other people get butterflies in their tummy.

There's a knot of sorts lying in mine.

I think it's called regret.

Stiff and bitter, even my stomach acid can't overcome it.

Byebye Blackbird

I never took a photo with him.
The only thing, we have in common-death

Its something we all have to go through.

My Ah Gong died today, death finally caught on to me.

I've never mourned the loss of a beloved before.

His death course through me like a riptide

I barely remember the times when he was weak and fragile.

All I picture is me at five, him guiding my hand.

Stroke by stroke, my chinese name appeared.

My Ah Gong, he gave me my first taste of sour plum and dried lemon slices.

All that's left now is goodbye.

Im goíng to sleep easy tonight knowing you're in a better place.

Anyone interested in this tee?

The world in black & white.

If you'll be my star

I'll be your sky

You can hide underneath me and come out at night

When I turn jet black and you show off your light

I live to let you shine I live to let you shine

And you can sky-rocket away from me

And never come back if you find another galaxy

Far from here with more room to fly

Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

If you be my boat I'll be your sea

The depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity

Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze

I live to make you free I live to make you free

But you can set sail to the west if you want to

And past the horizon till I can't even see you

Far from here where the beaches are wide

Just leave me your wake to remember you by

If you'll be my star I'll be your sky

You can hide underneath me and come out at night

When I turn jet black and you show off your light

I live to let you shine I live to let you shine

But you can sky-rocket away from me

And never come back if you find another galaxy

Far from here with more room to fly

Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

Stardust to remember you by

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,

Children spinning around till they fall down down down.

I wait for you: it's been two hours now,

You're still somewhere in town,Your dinners getting cold.

I rest my case you are always this late,And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round, Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,

Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.

And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday

,So tell me whats her name.

Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside

Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,

Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,

Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

Destitute.

Hello, are you there, are you there...
Is anybody there?
I lie on my bed on the verge of sleep and waking and I have this insane urge to talk to you
I want to tell you my hopes, my dreams, my fears, what makes me strong, what makes me cry.
But most of all, I want to tell you that I feel alone.
I can't seem to be me without you.
I need you to know just how much I was in love with the boy you were.
How you could so easily make me a better person.
You once said everything's gonna be alright.
And like a fool I believed.
From the core of my heart, but who am I kidding, youre never gonna read this.

P.s: I keep forgetting to forget you.

And it's a wonder how one can go on while feeling this empty inside.

fffound

leloveimage

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leloveimage