"Do you know how sometimes - when you are riding your bike and you start skidding across sand, or when you miss a step and start tumbling down the stairs - you have those long, long seconds to know that you are going to be hurt, and badly?"
I knew that tonight was going to be different once I asked about her, but I couldnt help it, I just couldnt let it go.

I can't wait to leave for Australia, I feel trapped and aimless in Singapore. I just want to be free, you know.

My love, look at how close we are instead of how far.

I've finally found the friends that I've always dreamt of having.
I should tell you all the wonderful things they have done.
But instead I will keep it close to my heart.
I need not boast about those friends I have.
I just hope that everyone will someday find friends like these.

J, K, R

You do not know how glad I am to have got you all.

We might as well be strangers

I cannot help but not be myself when I am around you and her.
We are so different alone and in a crowd.
Which is the real us then?
I cannot and will not tell you to forget her.
Because the way you look at her is exactly the way I look at you.
&& if someone were to tell me to forget you, I would tell them, not a chance.

As muuch as I hate to admit, you both actually do look good together.

Into the future.

I was at the eleventh floor today.

Dinner was Jap, how I enjoyed making my own sushi.

Laughter and drinks flowed freely.

The adults were comfortable around their companions.

I cannot help but think that they are everything I want to be when I grow up.

Drawn

Is it okay that I gravitate towards you when you are near?
Is it okay that my insides glow when you are next to me?
Is it okay that I cannot help but need you?
Is it okay that you know how I feel?

But most of all, is it okay to carry on this way even though I know we can never have a future?

And just maybe.

And maybe I'll sleep at the station because there's nothing to go home to but an empty fridge and some stale mayonnaise.

And maybe I'll make friends with the guys sleeping under cardboard boxes and newspapers and we'll discuss what it means to love and to live.

And maybe I'll wander the city, one lost particle in a dust storm of Mondays, late nights and reports due yesterday.

And maybe I'll get on a plane or a ship and get lost in places I've never been lost in before.

And maybe I'll keep my phone on me in case you call.

And tell me there's something to come home to.

Greener pastures

A tumblr account for me and my pals.
www.celardor.tumblr.com

Galaxy Girl

Me: K, the user is my email, melissagxy@live.com

Jenna: Oh, your melissa galaxy one ah?

Me: Huh? What galaxy??

Jenna: The gxy la?

Me: OMG!!! hahahaahaha no, thats my chinese name.

Jenna, the things you say, they crack me up.
From now, please call me galaxy girl.

Change, for the better

Take care of yourself. If you are sick, visit a doctor. If you are sad, visit a shrink or talk to a friend. If you are unhappy in love, break up. If you are fed up with how you look, buy a new shirt or stop eating cheese. If you have a problem, try to fix it. Many problems are knotty and need a lot of talking through, or time to resolve, but after a few months of all complaining and no fixing, those around you will begin to wonder if you don’t enjoy the problems for the attention they bring you. Venting is fine; inertia coupled with pouting is not. Bored? Read a magazine. Mad at someone? Say so — to them. Change is hard; that’s too bad. Effort counts. Make one.

I thought you could be my one shot at happiness.

My dad said something that aptly described it all

," it cant be true if it is really too good to be true."

That's why I never take my chances and never let myself be too happy

Guess I'm right again this time.

Because this way, I wont be so badly hurt.

I'm just a disaster waiting to happen, dont get too near.

Someday, I would like to make you say,
"You make me want to love again"

The night we met, my mouth said, "nice to meet you."
My heart said, "Oh, I've found you."

"If i give my heart to you,

I must be sure right from the very start

That you would love me more than her"

7th november, I'm glad I finally got it off my chest.
And that song, it really does describe us perfectly doesnt it.
I do not know what is going to happen now.
But, I'm afraid too.

The most demoralizing one word syllable, "No"

-How i met your mother.

I do not know how this game is played.

Being the chaser-beat about the bush.

I'm getting wrapped up in you.

Too much, too much for my own good.

2B!

"2B" they called her.

"Why", you asked.

"Because she wasn't allowed to write in pen, for her handwriting was too atrocious"